The First

its the 3rd week of the third month I've been living outside, far from my college friends...
n now i begin to see how important my friends r 2 me...
2day is the 1st day of the month where it is raining non-stop since this morning, so is my mood...

I'm fed up with living a life where people all around me seems close to me, n just to find out later that those ppl are just wearing their masks of disguise. a disguise to trick me into believing that i could trust them, something that may not make me regretful in the future...i think to myself everyday, why must ppl lie? why can't ppl just tell the truth? why should we deceive one another just to get what we want...?? why ?

My car is back at the workshop..in repairing progress..and i am worried of the bill i have to pay then, thinking what should i pay it with...who can help me now...?my mom..she has already helped me as far as she can..my friends?even they don't have the extra money to help me in this situation im facing....
but i have some debtors who im really hoping on...ive helped them before in their time of need....n im really3 upset that they've forgotten what they had promised me in the past.....now i see who my true friends are.....

n now..im all alone...thinking...is this the point in my life where i should give up..? i really feel like it......

hmmmm.......
it just that its been raining all day long here in my place...its cold..n i dont have some1 to talk to...
im probably lonely..but the warmth of some1 who loves me keeps me sane..wanting him..for now....