Thursday, March 2

In the Land of Oz

My 2nd week in Sydney, Australia! ^^,

I realized how tough I was as I waved goodbye to my friends, about to board my plane to the Land of Oz. 

How peaceful (i think) and expressionless I was at the time as I looked at my parents and said our farewells. 

I always hated farewells, felt like it was a definite "We'll never see each other again" kinda thing. So, I smiled throughout the end. Thinking of what ever to expect from Sydney. Of how uni life would be. Of having to start all over again. 

I asked my mom that all my friends expected me to cry on the farewell. My mom just laughed and said "You won't cry. You don't have any emotions!" 
Yea, what she said was true. I didn't cry at that time. 

I was accompanied with my brother, Emil and high school bff, Maryam. So a little piece of Malaysia came with me to Oz. As I sat in the flight, I became at awe for the in-flight entertainment system and also the food! Being so used to a low-cost carrier, I've forgotten how i felt like to board a Boeing aircraft. I was just a child when I went on my first flight to the US. I remembered getting free colouring books to entertain myself. 

As we reached Sydney. I felt like I couldn't believe that I'm in Australia! It felt like a dream, only more real. I've had it all planned out, hostel, airport pickup and meeting with seniors who would guide me on my first week here. Alhamdulillah, the people I've met has been very helpful and reassuring. Felt that I never actually left home since my parents and friends would always ask for updates and make sure I was alright. 

Alhamdulillah, I've gotten used to travel alone and meet new people. To break out from my comfort zone and be more adventurous. 

Semester Week 1 has just started. And everything is going by so fast. Everything is updated from a learning portal of which we are expected to keep updated and be proactive as the semester progress. The lecturers really encourage us to approach them in case we get lost on a subject. It's more or less like how I used to study in uni back then. Having to read before class and be prepared to raise any questions. However, in my time we were severely spoon fed. Over here, one needs to be independent. Decide on what you want your final results to be and work towards that. FOCUS is key. 

Sometimes I think to myself, why the hell did I leave my job of which I have been sooo comfortable at doing and came to further my studies ?? 
I keep telling myself, I need to do this. The forces of nature had pointed me here. I pray that this will be another stepping stone to better my life and be a better person. Amin~

First Day at UNSW - super excited! =) 

Sunday, June 26

Here I Go Again

Here I go again
Back to the same spot
The only spot, I'm too familiar with 
It has become my comfort zone

Only this time, I was ready 
I had my pillows and shields up
My pawns have helped me along the way  
until I, the Queen is left alone
without the King

It was bound to happen 
It was bound to be another chapter in my Taylor Swift-like-romance
Like how I never get enough of this 

"They're like chocolate cake, like cigarettes. 
I know they're bad for me, but I can't leave 'em alone"

I am trying to be the emotionless little bitch that i've been before
but I can't. 

I'm just me. 

Until the time comes, 
I know someone out there is also looking for me. 
Just that our paths haven't crossed yet. 

Until it does.. i'll be the one with her nose buried in books and her head in the clouds.